Don’t Convince Yourself It’s Not Worth It To Be Yourself

What have you always wanted to do?

My first career choice or dream as a child was to be an actress or a singer. I wanted to be on Disney Channel. I wanted to be in movies and shows that had some sort of inspirational message, a positive influence or just to play characters that had that influence. As far as singing? Not everyone is meant to be a singer, there’s nothing wrong with that but I do enjoy writing lyrics every once in a while.

Shortly after I let dreams of being an actress or singer fade away, I wanted to be an author, a playwright, possibly even a screenwriter.

At one point I wanted to be a teacher who taught language arts or creative writing. For more practical career choices I thought about being a psychologist or a social worker, then a news reporter, a neonatal nurse practitioner, or an ultrasound technician.

Eventually I wanted to start my own business doing custom clothing, room decor, accessories, and graphic design/digital artwork. I tried that out for a little while before moving on to blogging. Then I wanted to be an author again writing short stories and poetry.

I’m still writing, but now I’m doing YouTube as well. When I first started YouTube I focused on editing related videos. Now I’m ready to put more focus on my poetry and writing in general, but this time actually stick with it.

The point is I’ve always gone back to writing (poetry specifically) and I’ve always known I wanted writing to be apart of my journey but I paid more attention to what others wanted for me and my own worries that I kept trying to do other things I thought would be more pleasing and practical to everyone else.

It’s not that you don’t know what you want to do or how you’re going to do it

  • You just don’t believe enough that it’s possible
  • you don’t believe people will support you
  • You try to ride someone else’s wave
  • you think people are going to look at you in a way that you don’t like (weird, crazy, etc) and they won’t understand what you’re doing so you’re afraid to do it
  • You get nervous
  • You convince yourself it’s not even worth it to be yourself & that everyone else was right

(This may be different for each individual and what they may be lost in)

You may try to be yourself in private, in the comfort of your own space, or half-ass in public with little to no satisfaction because you’re still limiting yourself. You’re still hiding behind the incomplete version/image you’ve created of yourself.

Holding back & holding in

I’ve been extremely inconsistent with my content and uploading schedule. On my blog, on my YouTube channel, and on my social media accounts. It may even be fair to say I’ve done way less than half of what I could be doing, I wouldn’t argue with that. I spent so much time keeping my true interests to myself, doing what looked right instead of what felt right that I ended up spending even more time worrying and trying to rebrand each time.

I’d take my breaks (often lasting months) without notice and come back with why I’ve been away, what has been going on updates, etc. This post is basically another way of doing just that. It is possible to stay on a break or in a phase too long to the point that it turns to procrastination, fear, doubt and missing out which has happened during many of mine. I’ve learned that it’s okay to take breaks, it’s okay to let go of things, it’s okay to have a period of reflection as long as we know when it’s time to move on and not make the same mistakes continuously. We all have these moments whether aware or not.

Don’t limit or belittle yourself and miss out on some of your greatest opportunities because you’re worrying/focusing on the wrong things/everyone else’s opinion. Don’t worry about being “good enough” or not. How are you going to know if you never actually go for it? No holding back.

I’ve held back a lot by only sharing more “acceptable” topics I’m interested in. I was placing myself in a space I didn’t truly want to be in but I make the choice whether or not to stay in that space.

What state of being are you creating your reality in?


Instagram: DreamAllures

YouTube: Phases (Poetry Visual)

The Key To Consistency And Success…Which Key Is It?

Consistency is key but I can’t unlock the door

Consistently distracted

Inspired to do more

With many keys now which one unlocks?

Which one will be lost?

Which one is false?

Do I have the patience to try them all?

Multiple closed doors in front of me

With more keys than locks

Which new opportunities will I unlock?

I struggle with consistency, that’s no secret. Take a look at my blog, my Instagram accounts, my YouTube channels, and other things I’ve mentioned working on.

I have a wild imagination and many ideas and things I want to explore. It’s hard to keep the focus on one thing. I try my best to put the most effort into one project at a particular time but I’m always working on multiple projects. It bores me and drives me crazy to stay on just one when the ideas are coming so quickly. This causes distraction and detachment from each. I know that focus is important and I know working on multiple projects at once can cause one or more of them to be left neglected for a period of time and sometimes fall completely. These are all the keys, everything I’m working on. Which one unlocks the door? That’s for me to figure out. If I can handle trying all the keys.

I wrote the opening poem back in April but I feel it more now than I did back then. If you’ve been keeping up with my blog and YouTube channel you know a recent video I talked about exploring new ideas, not always sticking to one creative adventure and not being so focused on or attached to trends. I feel like many of us content creators, especially on YouTube, are going through similar obstacles with more changes in the air. Big changes that have been circulating in the community leaving some of us possibly feeling forced to change something or just wanting to because we know that it’s time.

I went over the thought process behind the whole poem with each line in video over on my YouTube channel so be sure to check that out after you’re done here. I included one of the lines below with the thought process behind it.

Line: Which one will be lost?

Which key will I drop or let go of? Which key worked previously for a certain lock, but now that lock may have been changed.

I just recently “lost” or let go of a key already which was my 2nd blog, the one I actually had paid for. I enjoyed what I was doing with it and it seemed to be doing okay for a little while but I was really inconsistent so there was no point in keeping it up and paid for if I wasn’t using it the best way I could. Plus with starting YouTube and everything I just lost interest in that particular blog.

I don’t regret spending the money and I don’t see it as a waste. I’m not dwelling on it. It was an experience that I enjoyed for some time, learned from and have just moved on. Maybe I’ll revisit it in the future. As far as this blog, I still plan on adding content but of course, working on some changes and a schedule. The same will be happening with my 2nd channel which I’ll get into more when I create the time for it.

Maybe consistency really isn’t the key. Maybe it’s just one key for a certain door but now I need another key to actually get into a specific space or position. Think about a house, maybe you have a lock to your bedroom that you have to also get into. Think about an apartment complex, you get into the building but then you have to get into your apartment. Maybe my imagination is the key to that. I have the set. Now I’m figuring it all out.

*message to myself and anyone else*

Find something to stick with and be consistent with it. Experimenting is fine. It is an experience. The experience becomes wisdom and knowledge. But find something to build on. Build a “house” on a structured foundation so that the door you are ready to unlock becomes “home sweet home.”

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Instagram: DreamAllures

Youtube: Dream Allures

When I talk to myself I realize things…

Do you ever talk to yourself? Besides thinking to myself too much, I often talk to myself at different moments with different scenarios or situations. I could be in the shower, at the park, acting out my own improv scenes for whatever reason, or just having my thoughts out loud for self motivation and inspiration like in this video.

Sometimes the words flow out in ways they can be made into poems, quotes, blog posts, short stories and probably an endless amount of other things.

There’s always more than one way to be creative, to be unique, to get out of a creative rut, to learn new things, to put things together, or to even be inspired. I figured I’d try some things out and start sharing them as I’m planning and putting out some of this new content and work on a schedule/routine that works for me.

I’ve been hinting at things for a while, sharing bits and pieces here and there but it’s for a reason. Sometimes it’s good to just go for it, and sometimes it’s good to plan while going for it. On my channel most of my views come from the editing tutorials and intro templates. Other videos don’t usually do as well. Just depends. But I’ve been slowly trying to separate from that to make room for other creative projects. I’ve mentioned already that I never really wanted to be an editing channel. But most people will tell you, “you have to niche down.”

When you’re holding things back because of an algorithm, opinions of others, or even the fear of having no feedback it becomes a stressful, annoying, problematic experience for yourself. I know that online when you change your direction it’s almost like having to start all over again. I know some people don’t do well with change. I know that people often stop viewing your content if the change is not what they initially came for or they don’t understand it. It’s easy to come off as inconsistent or unprofessional. Coming from someone who has had several blogs and blog names, several YouTube channels and channel names, several niches and ideas, several online changes and still making changes to this day…I know it all too well.

If you’re in a relationship and all of a sudden your partner shows you a different side or changes their mind about something, if you don’t like it or want to deal with it you have the choice to leave that relationship or friendship. But again, change is inevitable. If things are changing everyday at some point you have to learn to accept it and accept people for who they are just as you would want the same. Especially if it’s such a change that will improve someone’s wellbeing even if it takes away entertainment or pleasure from others. It’s not about others. It’s about yourself. People say “I don’t like that you’ve changed” but people also say they don’t like that you stayed the same and never expanded or tried anything new. Sometimes actions and results will speak instead.

Everyone’s journey is different. Everyone’s process is different.

I’ve learned to accept change. I’ve learned to accept that not everyone will. I’ve learned to embrace starting fresh if that’s what I have to do…and if that’s what I want to do.


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Change. Is it good or bad?

A subscriber on youtube once told me I was changing… So I made an inspiring video and blog post about it.

Is change good or bad?

There can be good and bad in everything. It’s whatever you make of it.

Every day we’re faced with decisions and change. Change is inevitable this is true. Change is constant. We change our hair, we change our clothes, we change our mind, we change the channel on tv or the radio station when it’s not playing what we like. We change our likes and dislikes sometimes. As we grow we change. The choices we make and the obstacles we go through change us. If everything stayed the same things would be boring. There would be no growth and maturity without change, or way of expressing ourselves as individuals and as a whole. We wouldn’t have new things to share because we wouldn’t have new experiences. Creators don’t just change, we explore and we evolve.

Social media labels & change

A lot of musicians get comments that they’ve changed when they put out a new song or video with a different style or genre. Sometimes they lose “supporters”

but they also gain new ones. People may have never heard of them before they tried that new style. Because the truth is, you never really know what you’ll love until you give it a chance and experience it.

I recently watched a video that YouTuber Jay Versace uploaded, explaining how just by changing his hair he experienced change with both negative and positive outcome. He speaks about how he wanted to cut his hair for so long but people were telling him not to do it because it became his trademark, they said it will ruin his image. He felt like he was hiding under a mask. A false image for social media.

This is also why (amongst other reasons) I never wanted to limit myself as a beauty blogger, natural hair blogger, fashion blogger, etc.

Think about all the hair blogs and YouTube channels, what if they decided to cut their hair off or do something really drastic that would change their content. Many of their “supporters” would probably stop supporting. I understand people want the content they signed up for and change can be hard to accept… But social media influencers also have a life outside of what we post online, an actual personality, and feelings outside of the glamorized posts. Creativity can’t be placed into one box and an artists work shouldn’t be either. I won’t limit myself to just one form of it.

Let’s stop holding ourselves and others to certain standards online. Change can be beautiful, change is inspiring.

What changes have you experienced in life lately? Would you be happy to be known for something as simple as hair, or beauty?

Let’s chat in the comments.

Whether the moon or the stars your dreams are never too far.

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A Hole In The Sky…

I love taking pictures of sunsets, I’m sure many of you remember.

If you’re new, I used to take pictures of the sunset almost every night. I’d share the pictures here on my blog before I changed the name, and on Instagram.

I still love watching and taking pictures of sunsets. But I love capturing the moons beauty as well. However, sunsets are a lot easier to capture especially when using an iPhone than it is to capture a great picture of the moon. I’ve taken some early in the morning where there’s daylight and those turn out a little better. Still not the greatest images but I find beauty in them.

I find beauty in the photos taken at night but I really would like for them to improve. I know an actual camera can help with that but I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that. What would be great camera suggestions for sunsets and moon photography? If anyone has any idea I would greatly appreciate it.

If you know of ways to make them better on iPhone I would appreciate that as well!

Both photos were taken of full moons on my iPhone 7. Looks like some kind of hole in the sky lol. What do you think?

Whether the moon or the stars your dreams are never too far.

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